Where forth art thou?: "I don't know how to use paypal"

Saturday, February 11, 2006

"I don't know how to use paypal"

I have been rather busy lately, so much so that I can only afford to check my mail once in 2 or 3 days now.

Along with the backlog of real mails for me to read, the following such spam mails always seem to find themselves into my inbox. Apparently Gmail isn't doing its job very well.

"Dearest one.

Actually I did not want to discuss this matter with you before but after fasting and prayer I just decided to contact you for your help, please I real need your help.

I am 20 years old girl. I leave alone because I don't want the people who killed my late Father, to kill me too.
I will be very happy if you promised me that you will keep this secret until this money arrival your care in your country.

My late Father deposited one trunk of box with a security company here before his dead and because of situation of political crisis here that led to war going on here in my country, I need some body that I will trust to come in and help me claim this consignment out from the company for the safety of my property that was deposited under there custody.

Please I am contacting you for your assistance, to help me because I don't have anyone in here to help me and I don't have money to travel from here to any country please I need your assistance to stand by me and help me to transfer the box to your for future investment.

You will contact the security company as SONIA MICHAEL foreign partner who want to help me and claim the box that was deposited by my late Father DR. DANE MICHAEL from Republic of sierra Leone.

My late Father did not declared the real content of the box to the security company officials.

He only told them that the box is containing family valuables.
You are the only person I have sent this message across to.

I will like you to keep the secret until this box arrive your country.
You have to promise me that you will not betray me when this box is under your care.

I will send the documents and the security company contact to you once you accept to help me. You have to give me your private phone and fax number to enable me to send the documents to you.

The money inside the trunk box is Twenty two Millions Three Hundred Thousand Dollars ($22.3 Millions Dollars).

I will offer you 10% for the total sum of amount, if you help me and claim this box from the security company.

You will also provide investment programme where the money will be invested properly when it arrival your hand safely.

I wait to hear from you.

May God bless you.
Sonia Michael."


"Dear one,

This letter is not intended to cause any embarrassment in whatever form, rather it is intended to contact your esteemed self, following the knowledge of your high reputation and trust worthiness.

Firstly, I must solicit your confidentiality. I know that a proposal of this magnitude will make anyone apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that it is made in good faith and will be for mutual benefit for the both of us.

My name is Mr KEN WHITE the Manger, Credit and Foreign Bills (UNION BANK PLC), I am writing in respect of a foreign customer of my bank with account number 14-225-2000 who perished in a plane crash (Korean Air flight 801) with the whole passengers aboard on August 5th ,1997. Since the demise of this our customer, I personally has watched as no one has come to claim his funds of $2.8 (two million,eight hundred thousand Dollars Only) which has been with my branch for a very long time.

On this note , I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the next of kin as no one has come up to be next of kin . And the banking ethics here does not allow such money to stay. In view of this I got your contact through a Trade Journal after realizing that your name and country is similar to the deceased. You and I can then share the money 60% to me and 40% to you.

Upon the receipt of your response, I will send you by fax the application and the next step to take. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this business is hitch free and that you should not entertain any fear as all modalities for fund transfer can be finalized within five banking days, after you apply to the bank as a relation to the deceased.

When you receive this letter, kindly send me a mail signifying your decision including your private Tel/Fax numbers for quick communication.



"Dear Friend,

I want you to patiently read this offer that will surely benefit both of us. My name is Chester Lumka. I am a Lawyer and a native of Durban in South Africa. I got a good piece of information about you from one of my acquired directories during my search for a trust-worthy and honest person who can handle this confidential business with me.
Through the smuggling and selling of diamonds from South Africa to England, I was able to make $10m USD cash. The money is currently deposited with a bank in England, as I cannot go to the bank because I deposited it with the name of foriegner for security reasons. Now I want to withdraw this fund from the bank for proper investment like real eastate, tourism industry etc.

This is why I decided to contact you. I want to present you as my foreign partner whose name was used to make this deposit so that I can withdraw my fund out of the bank in your name and transfer it to you, where you will receive it and keep it until I come over to meet with you in your country. All plans and arrangements on how to move the cash from the bank to your nominated bank account in your country has been properly put in place.

For assisting and also helping me in investing the money in a business that will bring quick and good profits, you will benefit a reasonable part of the total money.

Please reply this message as soon as you read it to let me know your mind on this proposition. Send me your private phone, fax and mobile phone numbers as you reply this message. Once I am convinced that you are totally willing to cooperate with me on this assignment, I will let you know how to go about this. Note that this proposal is a top secret and should be kept confidential at all time. While I hope to hear from you.

Best regards,
Dr. Chester Lumka"

I think we have all heard of fellow Singaporeans falling for such scams. My advice: When an offer seems too good to be true, ask yourself whether you would make the same type of offer in the same situation.

Just for fun, I sent a reply to one of these scammers once and asked cheekily for him to transfer the money he claims to be freely giving away to my paypal account.

His reply? - "I don't know how to use paypal."



Fatboi Slim said...

Apparently Gmail isn't doing its job very well.

It's not really Gmail's fault. I think even the best spam detection algorithms can only do so much. The SMTP protocol is too lenient, as its inventors didn't think it'd ever be so widely used.

And I notice you put your email address on this site without using an image or replacing the @ sign with AT. Like this, spammers will find your address very easily.

Candyfeehily said...

HAH HAH HAH~ funnny. how would he get the money then if he doesnt know how to use paypal.

Anonymous said...

what a boring topic...just focus on flamming XX...that's more interesting

Anonymous said...

I also receive these kind of email. Spams. Some people are just gullible enough to fall for it.

Anonymous said...

lol the last part damn funny

boomy said...

this scam has been going on for ages. i suppose more than 100 years? maybe? before the email, there was the fax, before the fax, there was the snail mail. it's just like those childish chain letters from school.

a friend fell for it and give away 5k. stupid but still there are pple now letting greed burn their pockets.

i prefer down-to-earth money from earnings.

Xia_mi_mi said...

Well...duno y some pple still fell for it..do they really beive that there is such thing as "free lunch" in this world? Amazing... =S

Anonymous said...

hey, do you realize xx put up ad from girlchat (sound like a xxx business to me). what's your take on that?

these stupid ple said...

Ask him if he knows how to eat shit anot.

Jeremy said...

LOL! I love this kind of spam! I even got one from Canada claiming I won the lottery and that I must pay a service fee to claim it. Idiots!!! I grew up in Canada and I know how to claim any lottery I pay... Worst of all, I haven't even been back home in 4 years so there's no way I could've won anything if I didn't play in the 1st place. Spammers like these should really do some homework and learn to vet their writing for typos and badly forged logos.

Anonymous said...

Visit www.ebolamonkeyman.com and see how ppl scam these scammers.

Anonymous said...

Scary thing that such ppl can get email addresses from no where